Way to funny and a great ad. Winston Salem NC is the home of KK doughnuts
Last edited:
Humor for the day!
- Thread starter sjb67
- Start date
I got to have a pair of boots like that. Sure explains why no hair on the side of his head.
The Blonde Mortician
A man who'd just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly...
She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?'
To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check. 'There's no charge,' she says.
'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says. 'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice. So I just switched the heads.'
A man who'd just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly...
She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?'
To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check. 'There's no charge,' she says.
'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says. 'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice. So I just switched the heads.'
Dang that that was funny and kind of make you wonder
Why did you die???
When Ted was putting flowers on his Grandmother's grave he noticed a man, very distraught, in front of a tombstone several yards away. The man was on his knees, hands tightly clasped in front of him, rocking back and forth, head tilted upward to heaven, tears streaming down his cheeks, moaning softly, "Why did you die? Why did you die?" Over and over again. Ted was overcome with emotion at this sight and went over to the poor man to try and console him. "Why did you die? Why did you die?" bellowed the man again and again. Ted gently put his arm around the man and half whispered to him, "My Grandmother is buried just over there. Is a loved one of yours buried here?" "No," sniffled the man, "It's my wife's first husband."
When Ted was putting flowers on his Grandmother's grave he noticed a man, very distraught, in front of a tombstone several yards away. The man was on his knees, hands tightly clasped in front of him, rocking back and forth, head tilted upward to heaven, tears streaming down his cheeks, moaning softly, "Why did you die? Why did you die?" Over and over again. Ted was overcome with emotion at this sight and went over to the poor man to try and console him. "Why did you die? Why did you die?" bellowed the man again and again. Ted gently put his arm around the man and half whispered to him, "My Grandmother is buried just over there. Is a loved one of yours buried here?" "No," sniffled the man, "It's my wife's first husband."
Young Love....So Adorable!
Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they know they are in love.
One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.
Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."
Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Bruce, you are only 10.. Where will you two live?"
Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies, "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."
Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay, then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny."
Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowance, Jenny makes five bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, so that should do us just fine."
Mr. Smith is impressed, Bruce has put so much thought into this.
"Well Bruce, it seems like you have everything figured out. I just have one more question. What will you do if the two of you should have little children of your own?"
Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, we've been lucky so far."
Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little **** is so adorable.
Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they know they are in love.
One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.
Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."
Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Bruce, you are only 10.. Where will you two live?"
Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies, "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."
Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay, then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny."
Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowance, Jenny makes five bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, so that should do us just fine."
Mr. Smith is impressed, Bruce has put so much thought into this.
"Well Bruce, it seems like you have everything figured out. I just have one more question. What will you do if the two of you should have little children of your own?"
Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, we've been lucky so far."
Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little **** is so adorable.
In Texas
One day, a very gentle Texas lady was driving across a high bridge in
Austin. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin’
to jump. ("fixin" in Texas means: has the means or abilities to take
action).
She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, "Please don't jump!
Think of your dear mother and father." He replied, "My mom and dad are both
dead; I'm going to jump."
She said, "Well, think of your sweet wife and precious children." He
replied, "I'm not married, and I don't have any kids."
She said, "Well, then you just remember the Alamo." He replied, ''What's
the Alamo ?''
She replied, ‘’Well, bless your heart! - You just go ahead and jump... you
little Yankee Obama lovin Democrat Bastard.. You’re holding up traffic.”
One day, a very gentle Texas lady was driving across a high bridge in
Austin. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin’
to jump. ("fixin" in Texas means: has the means or abilities to take
action).
She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, "Please don't jump!
Think of your dear mother and father." He replied, "My mom and dad are both
dead; I'm going to jump."
She said, "Well, think of your sweet wife and precious children." He
replied, "I'm not married, and I don't have any kids."
She said, "Well, then you just remember the Alamo." He replied, ''What's
the Alamo ?''
She replied, ‘’Well, bless your heart! - You just go ahead and jump... you
little Yankee Obama lovin Democrat Bastard.. You’re holding up traffic.”
TEXASLAWMAN
Lone Star Boars Owner
LSB TURKEY BUZZARD PRESERVATION SOCIETY
SUS VENATOR CLUB
LoneStarBoars Supporter
Well isn't that special.
Ratdog68
LSB Official Story Teller
LSB TURKEY BUZZARD PRESERVATION SOCIETY
SUS VENATOR CLUB
LoneStarBoars Supporter
The term "hair trigger" will never mean the same.
Ratdog68
LSB Official Story Teller
LSB TURKEY BUZZARD PRESERVATION SOCIETY
SUS VENATOR CLUB
LoneStarBoars Supporter
RD that was awesome, I have get me some so I can go hunting way too,funny. In reality those crazy MF need to meet their maker sooner than later.
TEXASLAWMAN
Lone Star Boars Owner
LSB TURKEY BUZZARD PRESERVATION SOCIETY
SUS VENATOR CLUB
LoneStarBoars Supporter